Healing in COVID Grief

Healing in COVID Grief

Walking the path of lament with God.

Grief is that feeling that you have, that emotional state that we experience when we lose someone or something important to us.

Welcome to the Light of Christ weekly podcast. Light of Christ Anglican Church is located in Georgetown, Texas at MLK and University Avenue. We are a modern expression of the ancient faith. You can learn more about us at lightofchristgeorgetown.org.

In this sermon soundbite, we talk about the difficult process of healing through grief. Paul writes in Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."

Let's talk a little bit about grief. Grief is that feeling that you have, that emotional state deep inside of us that we experience when we lose someone or something important to us. This pain that we feel inside of ourselves called grief is as real a thing as the pain that happens to you if you were to chop off the tip of your index finger. In fact, grief and shame are the two most painful of human emotions, and humans will do almost anything to not feel grief and to not feel shame.

Now, as I have been working through the process of all of this in my own heart, I've noticed something, and perhaps it's in your heart as well? I've noticed that these feelings of grief I'm having difficulty recognizing, but instead what I'm seeing come up in my heart is anger. Anger. So I ask you, are you angry?

Anger is one of the emotions we would rather go to than deal with our grief. And I'd like to pose the question, perhaps your anger, like mine, may be actually grief that has not been dealt with. We're all grieving. We've all lost a tremendous amount. Certainly I'm not comparing my loss to the loss of someone who's lost their job and their livelihood or someone who's lost someone to COVID. But certainly we've all experienced incredible loss during this time.

One thing I learned as a hospice chaplain in dealing and working and loving people through their grief is that there's only one way to heal, and that is to let yourself feel. There is really only one way to heal and that's to let yourself feel. Grief, it's kind of like waves at a beach. I remember growing up, we went to the East coast and they have really good waves there. And as a kid, if you saw a wave coming, I first would try to run from that wave. And what happens when you run from a wave? Man, it just wallops you and you come up with a face full of sand and salt coming out your nose, especially when you're a little kid like I was. I quickly learned that the best way to deal with a wave that was coming towards me was to dive into it, dive right into it.

And so it is with grief. Unpredictable, like the waves as they're coming, we see them and we're tempted because of the pain of grief to run away, to shut down the tears, to push it inside, to clamp it in. But this is not the way to heal. No, the way to heal in grief is to embrace it, to dive in.

The Bible calls this lamentation, to lament, and the Bible is full of lamentation. Psalms 77, I'd like to read that to you. Did you know that one third of the Psalms are lamentation. In other words, one third of the Psalms are a Psalmist voicing their grief to God in prayer. And I encourage you, whether it's Psalm 77 or some other Psalm to join in lament at this time.

Listen to the Psalmist. He says,

1    I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, and he will hear me.
2 In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
my soul refuses to be comforted.
3 When I remember God, I moan;
when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah
4    You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5 I consider the days of old,
the years long ago.
6 I said, “Let me remember my song in the night;
let me meditate in my heart.”
Then my spirit made a diligent search:
7 “Will the Lord spurn forever,
and never again be favorable?
8 Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah
10    Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
11    I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
12 I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
13 Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?
14 You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples.
15 You with your arm redeemed your people,
the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah
16    When the waters saw you, O God,
when the waters saw you, they were afraid;
indeed, the deep trembled.
17 The clouds poured out water;
the skies gave forth thunder;
your arrows flashed on every side.
18 The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;
your lightnings lighted up the world;
the earth trembled and shook.
19 Your way was through the sea,
your path through the great waters;
yet your footprints were unseen.
20 You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron. (ESV)

The Psalmist cries out bearing his soul to the Lord, his true self, his grief, his pain. And so I encourage you. I encourage you to cry, to grieve, to lament, to write down the pain of your heart, if it's helpful, in a form of a prayer to God. To sing, to read, to pray a Psalm of lament before the Lord. And for those who were in that class earlier, using the Jesus Prayer as well in and a prayer Chaplet can be helpful. Grief, bring your lament with me before the Lord.

Thank you for listening to the Light of Christ weekly podcast. Let us end our time together with a prayer from the Book of Common Prayer. This prayer is found on page 254.

"Grant to all who mourn, a sure confidence in your Fatherly care, that casting their grief on you they may know the consolation of your love. Lord, in Your mercy, hear our prayer.”